The nurse printed off like 12 pictures for me, but none of them were that great. She didn't even give me one of the "It's a Boy!" shot. I guess that might be good because I don't know how I'd feel if I had that kind of picture posted of me - even in utero!!!WARNING: From this point on, it gets a little too wordy and maybe a little too whiny, but I have a need to express my feelings about my life!! He he he . . .
Anyway, so we have about 4 months left! I was talking with my sister the other day and realized that I am not taking the time to enjoy this pregnancy very much. I have this attitude of "Let's just get this over with."
I really don't enjoy being pregnant very much. This one has been especially hard. I have something I call being in "THE ZONE."
This is the frame of mind I get in when I am super stressed/emotional/overwhelmed/tired or all of the above. There are different scenarios that cause this frame of mind - being husband-less, moving, being pregnant, lots of changes, etc.
This frame of mind causes me to become sort of, well, selfish, in an odd sort of way. I mean, I spend my days cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, running errands, taking kids to school, etc. etc., but really I am basically just keeping everyone alive.
Sometimes I feel like I am ignoring all the important things in life - things like serving others and connecting emotionally with friends and family. This pregnancy I have had a really hard time keeping my emotions in check. I get frustrated so easily by such simple things.
I kind of feel like I am letting a lot of people down. including myself. I have all these good intentions, but then I just feel so ornery and tired all the time. I guess being in "THE ZONE" I just lack a lot of motivation.
Honestly, Wes and I have both been having a really difficult time since he got home. Change is always hard. He's been looking for a better job since February, and nothing has been working out. It's rough.
Ok, I am done complaining! I have an amazing husband and three wonderful children! I am so blessed to be pregnant again. I just need to take this opportunity to enjoy the miracle of life!!!
My new goal in life is to try to be more positive. I want to enjoy this time with my family. The kids are growing up so fast, and Wes has been able to be home with us a lot more than normal. I need to smile more and think happy thoughts! I think that will help me get out of "THE ZONE."
August coming as soon as possible will help too, I think. :)
9 comments:
Congrats on the new baby boy! I will pray for your sweet little family. Life beats all of us down. I love seeing how your sweet family is doing.
Don't worry Trisha. I am always here if you need me. Congratulations on the new baby too. Good things are on your way!
Oh I am so with you. This pregnancy has been especially hard. I've had so many minor problems that, like you, I just want to get it over with. And even though it's my fourth time going through this I'm still crazy nervous. Probably because it's with yet another doctor in yet another state. I don't feel like I'm a very good mom when I'm pregnant too, probably due to the fatigue, sickness, big belly, etc. Anyway, I totally feel for you and you are allowed to feel this way. Blame it on the hormones and then get on with your day. Thanks for being honest too. Sometimes you just gotta be real. Take care!
YAY FOR BOYS!!!!
Uh... I'm not pregnant and I'm stuck in the same rut as you. I barely do laundry when Trent begs me to.... I kinda feel like down in the dumps. I think spring needs to come and STAY and maybe it will lift our spirits! It sounds to me like we need another girls night out!!! hehe I love ya!
Oh Trisha Dee, you are way to hard on yourself, you always have been. I don't think I have ever heard you complain or seen you down for that matter. You are such an amazing woman!!! I am so proud of you. You handled Wes being away for all those months and did it with a smile and grace that I so admire, never once complaining. Even this this get it off my chest, you can't even call that complaining my dear. You do need to take time for yourself you know, you do deserve just a little TRISH DEE TIME!! It will actually make you a better mom to take time for yourself, but the trick is to not feel guilty about taking a little time for yourself. That is what family is here for, just bring the kids over to Grammy and my house and you and Wes go out for a couple of hours just the 2 of you or even if you just go grocery shopping without the kids, you need to do that and I am more than willing to have the kids come to my house, please just bring them by. Love you tons and tons and tons!!!
I felt sad when I read this because I think you are amazing! And I agree with Grandma Cobb - I think that is one of the adversary's strongest tools, especially among women. Trying to get us down on ourselves and doubting the good that we do.
Jonny and I went through some weird times when he got home from Arizona too...it is hard to be the single parent and then jump back to parenting as a team. Jonny also had a period for about 5 months where there was no work...I feel your pain with looking for a new job! Now we have job certainty for the next year, but not the kind we want!
Congratulations on the new baby boy! How has your diabetes been with your pregnancy? Emma is starting on a pump at the end of this month! I am nervous about learning it all! Maybe I should just call you instead of leaving you a five page comment...
Hope you get feeling perkier soon!
Trisha I know EXACTLY how you feel! I did the same thing when I was pregnant. When I was pregnant I went from one kid to three and realized I had another on the way. I was stressed! And every little thing bugged me, things that never had before. I just wanted it to be over too and it felt harder and longer than my first pregnancy, I think it's because I had so many more people to take care of in such a short amount of time. I HAD TO take time for my self, even if my husband forced me ;)... some times it wasn't much but it was something. Hang in there! You are a great mom. Enjoy this pregnancy! And congrats on another boy! Yeah!
-Tiffany
oh girl, I relate with the overwhelmed feelings you have. Having gone through all that last year... I thought delivering baby would make it all better, but then we got thrown a curve ball trying to keep up with school schedules and a newborn (you're already passed that one!) Honestly, it's been a struggle this whole past year, but I am now being able to cope with it all and get through it, and most importantly, ENJOY it all.
So, somehow you will figure out a way to enjoy it all too. Even if you have to merely survive for a little while, it's a very short time in the longer scheme of things!
Congrats on another little boy!
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