The nurse printed off like 12 pictures for me, but none of them were that great. She didn't even give me one of the "It's a Boy!" shot. I guess that might be good because I don't know how I'd feel if I had that kind of picture posted of me - even in utero!!!WARNING: From this point on, it gets a little too wordy and maybe a little too whiny, but I have a need to express my feelings about my life!! He he he . . .
Anyway, so we have about 4 months left! I was talking with my sister the other day and realized that I am not taking the time to enjoy this pregnancy very much. I have this attitude of "Let's just get this over with."
I really don't enjoy being pregnant very much. This one has been especially hard. I have something I call being in "THE ZONE."
This is the frame of mind I get in when I am super stressed/emotional/overwhelmed/tired or all of the above. There are different scenarios that cause this frame of mind - being husband-less, moving, being pregnant, lots of changes, etc.
This frame of mind causes me to become sort of, well, selfish, in an odd sort of way. I mean, I spend my days cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, running errands, taking kids to school, etc. etc., but really I am basically just keeping everyone alive.
Sometimes I feel like I am ignoring all the important things in life - things like serving others and connecting emotionally with friends and family. This pregnancy I have had a really hard time keeping my emotions in check. I get frustrated so easily by such simple things.
I kind of feel like I am letting a lot of people down. including myself. I have all these good intentions, but then I just feel so ornery and tired all the time. I guess being in "THE ZONE" I just lack a lot of motivation.
Honestly, Wes and I have both been having a really difficult time since he got home. Change is always hard. He's been looking for a better job since February, and nothing has been working out. It's rough.
Ok, I am done complaining! I have an amazing husband and three wonderful children! I am so blessed to be pregnant again. I just need to take this opportunity to enjoy the miracle of life!!!
My new goal in life is to try to be more positive. I want to enjoy this time with my family. The kids are growing up so fast, and Wes has been able to be home with us a lot more than normal. I need to smile more and think happy thoughts! I think that will help me get out of "THE ZONE."
August coming as soon as possible will help too, I think. :)
